We are sitting here two weeks past Jonathan's delivery! It feels like so much longer:) There have been some anxious moments for us, but we are also very thankful for the many ways God has answered prayers for Jonathan.
He is doing well today. His back is healing. The fluid on his brain is draining and relieving the pressure for him. He is eating well, with bottle feedings to come this week. His vitals are all strong and he continues to breath well on his own.
It's been very hard to watch Jonathan over these two weeks. He started off in surgery Day 1 of life! Since the surgery on his back, he's been laying on his belly. Nobody can move him around, to fully optimize the healing process. This means that we have been unable to hold him or comfort him in the midst of all he's been through.
The next week of his life, he had a second surgery for the shunt. The doctors briefly turned him onto his back for the surgery, but he has been laying there again on his belly to continue healing. However, he is also recovering from the shunt surgery so we cannot rotate his head to the other side yet.
When he's crying, it pulls on all my heart strings. As his mom and dad, we long to pick him up and hold him close. Instead, we sit by his bed and read or sing to him. Today, he held on tight to our fingers and didn't want to let go. I keep asking for God to comfort him in a way that we cannot right now.
I'm learning everyday that not all of us walk the same road. Jonathan's road will be different. He doesn't know another way right now. In God's time, with more healing, we will be able to hold him and love him and nurse him. Right now, surgeries and time on his belly in the NICU is the BEST for him--to make the most of how God has formed Him and give him every opportunity to thrive. I look around at other babies in the NICU and know that all of those families have a different road to walk.
We are asking that God will give us the strength to walk this particular road well and to honor Him all along the way.
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