Monday, September 26, 2011
First Bottle Feeding
Today Jonathan tried to feed from the bottle for the first time! Day 15 in the hospital. He has to lay on his belly still, so the OT brought a bottle that we could use to feed him from the side. She was watching to see how well he sucks and swallows the milk. He did a great job for his first try!! He ate one whole ounce! We will try a couple of times again tomorrow. Can't wait for the day we can hold him to feed him, but this was a great step in the right direction.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Two Weeks
We are sitting here two weeks past Jonathan's delivery! It feels like so much longer:) There have been some anxious moments for us, but we are also very thankful for the many ways God has answered prayers for Jonathan.
He is doing well today. His back is healing. The fluid on his brain is draining and relieving the pressure for him. He is eating well, with bottle feedings to come this week. His vitals are all strong and he continues to breath well on his own.
It's been very hard to watch Jonathan over these two weeks. He started off in surgery Day 1 of life! Since the surgery on his back, he's been laying on his belly. Nobody can move him around, to fully optimize the healing process. This means that we have been unable to hold him or comfort him in the midst of all he's been through.
The next week of his life, he had a second surgery for the shunt. The doctors briefly turned him onto his back for the surgery, but he has been laying there again on his belly to continue healing. However, he is also recovering from the shunt surgery so we cannot rotate his head to the other side yet.
When he's crying, it pulls on all my heart strings. As his mom and dad, we long to pick him up and hold him close. Instead, we sit by his bed and read or sing to him. Today, he held on tight to our fingers and didn't want to let go. I keep asking for God to comfort him in a way that we cannot right now.
I'm learning everyday that not all of us walk the same road. Jonathan's road will be different. He doesn't know another way right now. In God's time, with more healing, we will be able to hold him and love him and nurse him. Right now, surgeries and time on his belly in the NICU is the BEST for him--to make the most of how God has formed Him and give him every opportunity to thrive. I look around at other babies in the NICU and know that all of those families have a different road to walk.
We are asking that God will give us the strength to walk this particular road well and to honor Him all along the way.
He is doing well today. His back is healing. The fluid on his brain is draining and relieving the pressure for him. He is eating well, with bottle feedings to come this week. His vitals are all strong and he continues to breath well on his own.
It's been very hard to watch Jonathan over these two weeks. He started off in surgery Day 1 of life! Since the surgery on his back, he's been laying on his belly. Nobody can move him around, to fully optimize the healing process. This means that we have been unable to hold him or comfort him in the midst of all he's been through.
The next week of his life, he had a second surgery for the shunt. The doctors briefly turned him onto his back for the surgery, but he has been laying there again on his belly to continue healing. However, he is also recovering from the shunt surgery so we cannot rotate his head to the other side yet.
When he's crying, it pulls on all my heart strings. As his mom and dad, we long to pick him up and hold him close. Instead, we sit by his bed and read or sing to him. Today, he held on tight to our fingers and didn't want to let go. I keep asking for God to comfort him in a way that we cannot right now.
I'm learning everyday that not all of us walk the same road. Jonathan's road will be different. He doesn't know another way right now. In God's time, with more healing, we will be able to hold him and love him and nurse him. Right now, surgeries and time on his belly in the NICU is the BEST for him--to make the most of how God has formed Him and give him every opportunity to thrive. I look around at other babies in the NICU and know that all of those families have a different road to walk.
We are asking that God will give us the strength to walk this particular road well and to honor Him all along the way.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Home Without Jonathan
Thursday we left the hospital without Jonathan. There are a great many emotions that walk out of the hospital with you. Sadness, as we're unable to hold Jonathan to comfort him during his first days out of the womb or that he couldn't come home to be with his family. Joy, to finally meet him after praying for him for so long. Gratitude, for his strong vitals and wonderful staff at the hospital who are taking care of him. Anxiety, for all that still lies ahead and uncertainties in our future.
The list could go on...
Tonight, we are just thankful and humbled by the outpouring of love and support--from around the world. We are taking one day at a time. Fighting hard to keep our minds in the present and not jumping too far ahead. We could not walk in this manner without the grace that comes from God alone and the power of prayer.
It is incredibly difficult to see Jonathan lying on his stomach and watching his back heal while his head continues to grow with increased fluid. It seems like such a difficult thing to ask of such a little fellow, knowing he has so much more ahead of him. But we tell ourselves DAILY that Jonathan is God's creation, uniquely formed by His design, brought to our family. He will give all of us the strength we need to love and support one another and bring glory to His name. And our prayer is that He guards our family's faith and enables us to shines like light. May this be one of the many ways that He chooses to do so!
The list could go on...
Tonight, we are just thankful and humbled by the outpouring of love and support--from around the world. We are taking one day at a time. Fighting hard to keep our minds in the present and not jumping too far ahead. We could not walk in this manner without the grace that comes from God alone and the power of prayer.
It is incredibly difficult to see Jonathan lying on his stomach and watching his back heal while his head continues to grow with increased fluid. It seems like such a difficult thing to ask of such a little fellow, knowing he has so much more ahead of him. But we tell ourselves DAILY that Jonathan is God's creation, uniquely formed by His design, brought to our family. He will give all of us the strength we need to love and support one another and bring glory to His name. And our prayer is that He guards our family's faith and enables us to shines like light. May this be one of the many ways that He chooses to do so!
Saturday, September 17, 2011
The Delivery
For those of you who like details, this post is for you! Jonathan was scheduled for delivery by C-Section on Monday, September 12 at 8am. We went to bed on Sunday night, hoping to get a little rest. (But, I wasn't really expecting to rest that much because of nerves.) Let's just say that Jonathan had different plans too!
Sometime in the middle of the night, I started experiencing some cramping. I thought that most of it was a nervous stomach, so I headed to the bathroom. Got back to bed and tried to rest some more, but my stomach turned again some time later. After going to the bathroom a second time, I decided I should wake Jeremy up soon and tell him I wasn't really sure what was going on.
Laying in bed, I prayed and asked God to make things abundantly clear to me because I was really struggling to understand what was going on inside me. It didn't feel like labor, but something was going on. Within ten minutes, my water broke!! I immediately told Jeremy and he, quite literally, hopped out of bed. He said, "We have to get in the van and go right now!" And started running all over the house, waking people up and gathering our bags. Meanwhile, I went to the bathroom to clean up some. This all happened at 2:30 in the morning!
So, we live at least 30 minutes from the hospital. And we needed to be at the hospital for Jonathan's delivery because natural childbirth would put a lot of extra stress on his body and would be very difficult for me because the fluid has increased the overall size of his head.
We got in the car and headed for the hospital. I gotta tell you, we were going as fast as we felt comfortable driving, praying out loud THE WHOLE TIME. My contractions definitely started up and kept coming, what felt like closer and closer together.
We made it to the hospital in record time (I know it was right at or a little less than 20 minutes!). We parked at the front door and headed up to delivery. Meanwhile, Jeremy's mom had called ahead of time and let them know that we were on our way and our special circumstances. They got me checked in and monitored me for just a few minutes while everyone was getting things in place for an emergency C-Section. They were all a little concerned about the timing as well, this being my fourth delivery.
Within less than an hour from entering the hospital, we were in the OR, spinal tap given, and getting ready to begin. Less than ten minutes after the operation began, we heard Jonathan's first cries. They brought him around for us to see and he was beautiful and tiny. No, we didn't get to hold him. But it sure was good to see him after waiting so long to meet him.
We are incredibly grateful to the nurses and doctors working at the hospital the wee hours of Monday morning. They were very helpful, concerned, yet reassuring. In the end, God took care of everything, though a little differently than we had all planned! He gave us an incredible peace and helped us rest in His strong arms the whole time.
Sometime in the middle of the night, I started experiencing some cramping. I thought that most of it was a nervous stomach, so I headed to the bathroom. Got back to bed and tried to rest some more, but my stomach turned again some time later. After going to the bathroom a second time, I decided I should wake Jeremy up soon and tell him I wasn't really sure what was going on.
Laying in bed, I prayed and asked God to make things abundantly clear to me because I was really struggling to understand what was going on inside me. It didn't feel like labor, but something was going on. Within ten minutes, my water broke!! I immediately told Jeremy and he, quite literally, hopped out of bed. He said, "We have to get in the van and go right now!" And started running all over the house, waking people up and gathering our bags. Meanwhile, I went to the bathroom to clean up some. This all happened at 2:30 in the morning!
So, we live at least 30 minutes from the hospital. And we needed to be at the hospital for Jonathan's delivery because natural childbirth would put a lot of extra stress on his body and would be very difficult for me because the fluid has increased the overall size of his head.
We got in the car and headed for the hospital. I gotta tell you, we were going as fast as we felt comfortable driving, praying out loud THE WHOLE TIME. My contractions definitely started up and kept coming, what felt like closer and closer together.
We made it to the hospital in record time (I know it was right at or a little less than 20 minutes!). We parked at the front door and headed up to delivery. Meanwhile, Jeremy's mom had called ahead of time and let them know that we were on our way and our special circumstances. They got me checked in and monitored me for just a few minutes while everyone was getting things in place for an emergency C-Section. They were all a little concerned about the timing as well, this being my fourth delivery.
Within less than an hour from entering the hospital, we were in the OR, spinal tap given, and getting ready to begin. Less than ten minutes after the operation began, we heard Jonathan's first cries. They brought him around for us to see and he was beautiful and tiny. No, we didn't get to hold him. But it sure was good to see him after waiting so long to meet him.
We are incredibly grateful to the nurses and doctors working at the hospital the wee hours of Monday morning. They were very helpful, concerned, yet reassuring. In the end, God took care of everything, though a little differently than we had all planned! He gave us an incredible peace and helped us rest in His strong arms the whole time.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Day Before
Well, it's the night before our scheduled delivery. What an interesting feeling to have waited and prayed so long for the delivery of little Jonathan David, especially since our journey has brought us so far from where we thought we would be sitting on this day.
September 12, 2011 will prove to be a life-changing day in the life of our family. As we sit here tonight, we have no way of knowing exactly how things will change. Either way, we are welcoming our fourth child into the world and we are very excited about meeting him. The other day I was driving down the road in the minivan with our three other children. I couldn't help but smile in gratitude. Finishing up college, I had big dreams for my life--one of those being a family. I had no idea what that would look like or where I would be, but I'm so thankful the Lord granted those desires above and beyond anything imagined.
A wonderful husband. Three incredible children. And we have lived a life of adventure for Him. It's been a ride. I am thankful for what this has done in me because I wouldn't be the person I am today without every bit of the day to day walk of faith.
And now the adventure continues. He will take and use every moment of my life to refine me. I'm so excited about meeting Jonathan David, seeing him, holding him. Do I pray for that miracle delivery? Absolutely!! Why not and what do we have to lose? Our God is MORE than able. Will we accept and love him with Spina Bifida and all? Absolutely!! He is a gift from God, set in our family. We are all very excited to love him and take care of him.
So, for tonight, we sit on the precipice of something grand. A new son. A renewed calling. Perhaps, a new direction in our journey altogether. But, you will find me rejoicing. And you will find me grateful. I know that He is good and all that He does is good.
September 12, 2011 will prove to be a life-changing day in the life of our family. As we sit here tonight, we have no way of knowing exactly how things will change. Either way, we are welcoming our fourth child into the world and we are very excited about meeting him. The other day I was driving down the road in the minivan with our three other children. I couldn't help but smile in gratitude. Finishing up college, I had big dreams for my life--one of those being a family. I had no idea what that would look like or where I would be, but I'm so thankful the Lord granted those desires above and beyond anything imagined.
A wonderful husband. Three incredible children. And we have lived a life of adventure for Him. It's been a ride. I am thankful for what this has done in me because I wouldn't be the person I am today without every bit of the day to day walk of faith.
And now the adventure continues. He will take and use every moment of my life to refine me. I'm so excited about meeting Jonathan David, seeing him, holding him. Do I pray for that miracle delivery? Absolutely!! Why not and what do we have to lose? Our God is MORE than able. Will we accept and love him with Spina Bifida and all? Absolutely!! He is a gift from God, set in our family. We are all very excited to love him and take care of him.
So, for tonight, we sit on the precipice of something grand. A new son. A renewed calling. Perhaps, a new direction in our journey altogether. But, you will find me rejoicing. And you will find me grateful. I know that He is good and all that He does is good.
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