Adjustments

Over the last few weeks and months, I've had to make many adjustments in my thoughts and expectations and even beliefs.  The following is a random list of some of those...

**One of the biggest is in my independence.  I think it's something that God instilled in us, to keep us working overseas for so many years and making the most of life even in some pretty out of the way places.  But I'm learning now, more than ever, that we need help.  I need help, and it's ok.  It's also a joy to others when we allow them to help us when they want to minister to our family.

**I've been incredibly hands-on with our children.  It's been so much fun to be at home with them and watch them grow and make discoveries.  And though we've had our VERY hard days in school, it's really neat to learn alongside them and watch the light bulb go off and see the reward of hard work as they learn to read.  But I see those days slipping away.  I've been away from them more over the last six weeks than I have in their entire lives.  And I know that home school is less likely in the days ahead just because of the changes in our family dynamic.  This is a difficult transition for me.  I like being hands-on in their lives.  Yet, I know that if He desires something very different for them than what I envisioned, then it is the very best for them.  God, give me the strength to hold tightly to each of them and let them go at the same time.

**Jeremy and I thought we'd live nearly the rest of our lives serving the Lord overseas.  We are most certainly willing!  In fact, we always said that it would have to be something pretty significant to call us back to the States--like something medical in our family that wouldn't allow us to live overseas anymore.  In this way, we would know that God is the One moving our family and not anything chosen by us.  We love living overseas and watching God work in amazing ways.  I trust that He is not "putting us out to pasture" and will lead us to a new place of service here in the States.  From former times of transition in our lives, I know that this process of change and grieving the loss of that work and our dear community of friends will take some time.  BUT, He has carried us through many different seasons and He will do it again.  I can only wonder at this point, "What does He have in store for us on the great adventure?"

**Hospitals.  I have never been a fan of them.  In fact, I think they are places of great sadness.  I've never been more grateful for hospitals than I am today (sitting on the other side of a couple of months in NICU), but I still hold true to my belief that within the walls of any hospital is a lot of pain and sadness and grief.  There is one floor that generally has a great deal more rejoicing than the others--labor and delivery, where new life first begins.  But we also know that even this floor does bring its own share of sadness.  We've seen it.  We've experienced it.  How can anyone make it through these intense seasons of pain without knowing our loving Father?  Now I also see hospitals as a place of great need.  Need to hear of Hope, Healing, Love, Peace, Comfort, and Strength.  There is only One who is all of these and much more. Jesus.